Me-TV 50.2 Spotlight: "Mary Tyler Moore" Quotes

By Terri Overby

Mary Richards: I'm an experienced woman. I've been around... Well, all right, I might not've been around, but I've been... nearby.
Chuckles the Clown: [attributed] A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.
Sue Ann Nivens: I was lying in bed last night and I couldn't sleep, and I came up with an idea. So I went right home and wrote it down.
Ted Baxter: Folks, I've just received a special news bulletin: "You have something on your front tooth."
Ted Baxter: I always like to think that our little newsroom was one big happy family. In my innocence, little did I suspect we'd be harboring a backstabber in our very bosom. I'm going to reveal the name of that person. The backstabber is...
Murray Slaughter: Isn't this were the lights go off and Ted is found dead on the floor?
Phyllis Lindstrom: I just thought I'd see what you swingin' singles do for fun.
Rhoda Morgenstern: Same as you - sit around and wonder what it would be like to have a happy marriage.
Lou Grant: You want a raise, is that it?
Ted Baxter: Lou, I've written a figure on this pad.
Lou Grant: Ted, I've written two words on this pad.
Ted Baxter: Lou, I thing there's some room for negotiation between that figure and those words.
Lou Grant: Put it on an idiot card for Ted.
Ted Baxter: Cue cards, Lou. I don't know why everyone insists on calling cue cards idiot cards.
Murray Slaughter: We just have trouble thinking of you as a cue.
Ted Baxter: Say, Murray, I just read this item I think we should use. It's about a man who went on TV to make a plea to send Turkeys to convicts.
Murray Slaughter: For pets or for dinner?
Ted Baxter: I don't know! I think it was in "Ar-Kansas."
Murray Slaughter: Yeah, I think they're doing the same thing in Arkansas too.
Ted Baxter: How do you like that! It's spreading from state to state!
Mary Richards: Mr. Grant? Could I say what I wanted to say now? Please?
Lou Grant: Okay, Mary.
Mary Richards: Well I just wanted to let you know that sometimes I get concerned about being a career woman. I get to thinking that my job is too important to me. And I tell myself that the people I work with are just the people I work with. But last night I thought, what is family anyway? It's the people who make you feel less alone and really loved.
[she sobs]
Mary Richards: And that's what you've done for me. Thank you for beginning MY family.
Mary Richards: If it weren't for the rotten things that happen in this world, we couldn't put on the news show. We should be grateful to all the people who do those rotten things. We should stop them in the streets and say, "Thank you Mr. Mugger, thank you Mr. Thief, thank you Mr. Maniac."
[explaining a dream to Lou and Murray]
Ted Baxter: I dreamt I was an old man, all wrinkled and shriveled, sitting alone on this park bench, and then this-this guy walked up to me, and he looked kind of familiar, and he just stood there, looking at me. And I said, "Who are you?" And he said, "I'm the son you never had." And then-then this woman appeared, and I said, "Who are you?", and she said, "I'm the daughter you never had." And then-then about twenty kids appeared, and I said, "Who are you?" And they said, "we're the children of the children you never had." Then a bunch of dogs and cats appeared, and I said, "Who are you?" And they said, "We're the pets of the children of the children you never had." And then a bunch of guys in white coats came up, and I said, "Who are you?" And they said, "We're the Veterinarians of the pets of the children of the children you never had." And then, and then...
Lou Grant: Ted, just-just skip to the finish of the dream. Tell us how it ended.
Ted Baxter: Oh like all my dreams end, with Marlo Thomas and Winston Churchill applauding me.
Mary Richards: Oh Rhoda, chocolate doesn't solve anything.
Rhoda Morgenstern: No Mare, cottage cheese solves nothing; chocolate can do it all!
Mary Richards: Well, what's the cut-off point Mr. Grant? I mean, is... is there some number? You know, I'd really like to know. How many men is a woman allowed to have before she becomes *that* sort of woman?
Lou Grant: Six.
Sue Ann Nivens: I've gotten involved in the most wonderful business. I'd like to give you all my new business card
[passes out cards]
Murray Slaughter: [reading] "Sue Ann Nivens; Insurance Sales". Great, Sue Ann; let me give you my card.
[writes on the back and hands it to Sue Ann]
Sue Ann Nivens: [reading] "Murray Slaughter; Not Interested".
Mary Richards: [eating dinner] This is delicious, Georgette. I love it.
Georgette Franklin Baxter: Thank you, Mary.
Ted Baxter: [stuffing his face] I love it, too, Georgette. And I love you. Will you marry me?
Mary Richards: Ted, you just proposed through a mouthful of creamed onions!
Sue Ann Nivens: Mary, you've been in my bedroom before, haven't you?
Mary Richards: [looking around in amazement] Oh, no! I would've remembered this!


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